Dear Mom,

Waking Up, that was what you wished to call your memoirs. You believed that through the trials and tribulations of my Fathers abuse that you had "Woken Up". I can still remember the day you told me of your ambitions for these memoirs. And now I wish you had done so. I desperately seek insight as to what actually happened, something I could cling onto and deduce to find out the truth of it all.
You say you woke up, that you came out from the fog by leaving him... but the only thing that actually happened was that my world got darker. I do not hold any hardships against you for leaving a loveless relationship. I comemorate you for it in a world where dividing a family is a tedious act on its own.
However now we are here, I now twenty-one and struggling to find myself again with the trials and tribulations that you put onto me.
Not a single day goes by where I don't realize a thing that I now have anxiety with because of the way you nurtured me.

This is my journey to find the words to answer you. What did you do wrong?